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These are my puppy chronicles. Shortly after I moved to my new home … I really missed my mom at first, not sure I missed having nine sisters as much … some of my people left me and went on vacation to Aruba. These are my emails to Daddy and the Food Lady. They took off and left me, Auntie Biscuit (A.K.A. Puppy Nanny, Cellar Wench, Backup Food Lady), Megan and the hissy creatures (cats) for two whole weeks.
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No Daddy,No Food Lady...wasted half the day laying by the gate waiting for them. Pooped, Peed, Played...napped all day. Went in the crate when you left but no one closed the door so slept under the kitchen table for three hours. Megan made me bark and complained that my barking gave her a headache. Mean old puppy nanny shoved medicine down my throat and kept making me go out. Took me for a walk but wouldn't let me bring home the best stick in the world...just cause I needed help carrying it home. Gonna sleep until 7 am tomorrow morning. Hope you're having fun without me. Woof woof.
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Guess what? I have a big dog GROWL to go with my big dog bark and trust me it doesn't sound anything like my play growl! That cellar wench came up from downstairs where those hissy creatures live this morning (at 4:45!!) and surprised me. Once I realized it was the Puppy Nanny i was nice but first she heard my "what do you think you're doing in my house" growl. She set me straight but let me out of my crate anyway. It was pouring rain so I wouldn't go out in the back yard. I made her put on one of your coats (boy, did she look funny) and take me out front so I could play in the puddles and mud. I made her dry me off when I came in...no wet paws for me. She said I was a male chauvinistic pig...whatever that is.
The puppy nanny is happy tho...the new paper person delivers the Sunday paper at 4:45 and the Caps made the playoffs. She's making me watch baseball and listen to Bach but don't worry Daddy, my heart belongs to that turn left turn left turn left thing you let me watch. I'm doing the three Ps, and napping and going for a long walk with Aunt Witchy Purppy Nanny and one with Megan in the evening . Megan made me practice all my tricks last night. I'm getting treats for being a good boy but I have to work for everything. Nobody gives me something for nothing. Whine, whine, whine.
I really miss you, I've been sleeping by the garage door until you come home. Besides, the Witchy puppy nanny found my favorite gnawing spot on the floorboards by my food bowl yesterday morning and now I can't do that EITHER.
See you guys soon...remember, I'm cuter than fishies.
Woof, Woof,
Magnus.
P.s. I remembered my manners last night and thanked Auntie Biscuit for my dinner (even if it wasn't as good as the one you make, Food Lady)
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Rainy days and Saturday, Rainy days and Sunday, rainy days and Monday make me sad. And no Daddy. Heavy sigh.
Today I got up at 4:15 and this time I didn't bark at Aunt Puppy Nanny/Biscuit. I just whined furiously and refused to go out in the back. She folded (good dog!) and took me out front. She's just like the Food Lady...she can't find poop in the dark either so it's a fun game.
I went downstairs where the hissy critters live THREE times. The first couple of times I just stayed at one end of the big room and let them stare at me while Aunt PN/B watched. THe last time I went within three feet of Chase who was laying on the floor. Aunt PN/B made me do DOWN (boy, am I getting tired of that...and there was no treat). I didn't look at Chase but I let him glare at me. He didn't hiss at me until he wanted to move...Aunt PN/B said it was just a warning. Sanborn just sat on the ottoman and took notes. I think I'll go down again tomorrow.
We walked a lot in the backyard this afternoon because I didn't want to walk down the street. There are lots and lots of pretty flowers all over the backyard...but I'm not allowed to eat them either.
I made a new friend today too. The florist delivery guy was delivering flowers next door when I was out front and he asked to meet me. He knew just what kind of a dog I was and said I was a wonderful breed. I fell all over him and begged to go with him and find Daddy and Food Lady but no luck. He said my name was a big dog name too!
Megan came and took me for a long walk and made me do all my tricks. She brushed me too so I look cool. But I didn't poop for her even tho she tried twice. I waited until she left and then I whined until Aunt PN/B took me out front and I pooped twice! Gotta keep those women in line. Aunt PN/B calls me a new nickname. She calls me PM for "pooping machine."
I'm going to go take a nap now so that Aunt etc. will have to stay up to midnight before putting me in the cage.
Woof, woof!
Magnus
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I stole the hissy critters' mousie today...TWICE! I got stuck under the quilting frame too but that's another story. What's sunshine like?
Woof, woof,
Magnus
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Yesterday I was a bad dog. Auntie Biscuit was using your computer and your chair and was in your room. So I walked across your room peeing. Auntie Witch said I was a BAAAAAAD dog. Actually she said I was a BAD, BAD, BAD dog and hurt my feelings. Then she ran the little blue machine three times! I was really sorry so I didn't get her up until 5:15 this morning.
Auntie B. worked all day today and that was boring. I took lots of naps. One time Auntie B came looking for me and couldn't find me for the longest time...I was sound asleep in my crate and I stayed there for over two hours. Meg came and played with me again and brushed me so I looked sleek. Still no sunshine. You are my sunshine and you're in Aruba.
Woof, woof
Magnus
p.s. I won't poop for Megan. I wait until she leaves and make Aunt Biscuit take me. Is that what they call passive aggressive. I won't use the pen either...I like to sit out in it a few times during the day but I don't do nuthin' in it anymore. Drive Auntie Biscuit crazy. She keeps saying she's going to sic the hissy critters on me.
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I'm a good dog! Slept intil 5:15 again. Of course, I'm staying up until 11 but I nap alot. The sun came out today. Auntie Biscuit went out for HOURS and I had to spend HOURS in my crate. This was just a 3 Ps day and lots of napping. I chewed on Megan for awhile and now I'm waiting for the nightly visit of the hissy critters.
Chase Hissy Critter came up during the day today and walked all around my room. I sat in the hall and he had to walk past me to get downstairs. As soon as he got near me he gave me THE look, I dropped to the floor, and he sauntered past me. They try to come up all the time now. I think they miss their mom...Chase Hissy Critter sits on the other side of the door calling Maaaaa, Maaaaa, Maaaaa until Aunt Puppy Nanny Biscuit opens the door.
Tomorrow Joyce is coming...bet I get a new toy!
Be careful diving Daddy and stay out of the sun Food Lady.
Woof, woof,
Magnus
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Today I was a puppy.
I went downstairs with Aunt Puppy Nanny Biscuit this morning and watched her take a bath...pretty boring but dipping my front paws in the water was FUN and then I slide all over the floor. Good thing it was before Joyce came or Auntie Biscuit would have put me in a closet with the hissy critters.
Joyce didn't bring me a toy but she let me stay out while she was cleaning and she took me for a walk before she put me in my crate and left. I got lots of hugs too.
Auntie Biscuit was gone all afternoon again but I got a toy from her when she came home...it's bigger than me but not for long!
Tomorrow is Saturday, it's suppose to rain and Auntie B said we're sleeping in, watching movies, and taking naps. HAH! That's what she thinks.
Uh oh...the hissy critters are wandering around in the family room ...gotta go watch them. Have fun, hurry home...I got new toys to show you and my neat new trick....stealing the dishtowel off the dishwasher.
Woof, woof,
Magnus
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Okay, I'm in the doghouse today. First I piddled in the hissy critters' house while they watched...boy, were they mad. They both hissed at me at the same time. And Auntie Biscuit has a small Green machine just like the one upstairs and I just had to bark at it. Did you know that hissy critters can make the hair on their back stand straight up? So I came upstairs and piddled (piddled my foot, I peed a river) on my blue blanket. Auntie Puppy Nanny Biscuit is not amused with me today but she knows I'm tired of missing you so she's cutting a little slack. She's not cutting me any slack with my new pushy puppy routine tho...she walks away from me when I bark at her and she goes away when I play too rough...there's a message here I think.
It's really pretty today....of course it is, they said we would get rain and thunderbumpers, so we have sunshine and breezes...I've gone out to my pen lots today. I got my special supper and a couple of long walks and lots of petting from Auntie PNB so I guess I'm not in trouble anymore. She said she will forgive me for anything if I keep sleeping until five am. I'm having company tomorrow too..>Auntie PDB old neighbors are stopping by on their way home from Baltimore. Wonder if I'll get a present.
See you soon! Don't feed the fishies treats.
Woof, woof!
Magnus
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I know it's late but Auntie Biscuit just got me settled down after Megan's visit...Auntie Biscuit called me a hood. I was a good puppy today, I slept late and took naps. Chase chased me across the family room and under the kitchen table this morning...in my very own space. Auntie B. said I was being pushy and forgot my place. Won't do that again too soon...that's one fast hissy critter. I was much more careful after that..the critters were upstairs off and on all day long...I don't think they will ever love me but they're working on putting up with me as long as I follow the rules...but there are soooo many Daddy!
Tomorrow Auntie B. is going to work so I'm going to nap in my crate for the morning and then do the three Ps the rest of the day until Megan comes. I really, really miss you. Auntie B.'s neighbors stopped by today on their way home from Baltimore and loved me lots. Lisle played with me for a long time and I played nice...no barking or biting but I was so tired from dealing with the hissy critters all morning I fell asleep after a half hour and didn't wake up until they were ready to leave. I tried to get Lisle to take me but he promised you'd be back.
See you soon, dive good. Auntie B. still isn't cooking as good as you Food Lady. I bark at her the entire time she fixes my supper and try to get her to do it your way but she's sloooooow. She says you won't like me barking for my dinner but I know that's not true. Besides, I always say thank you...even to Auntie B.
Woof, woof!
Magnus
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Today was a good dog bad dog good dog day. I slept in, I slept in my crate while Auntie Biscuit worked, I pooped and peed in the backyard pen (I just don't like it in the dark), took a nap on the deck, and I peed in the hissy critters house ten minutes after I came in. Auntie B. said I better learn to stop walking while I'm peeing or I'm going to be in big trouble with Food Lady and the special dinners will stop. For some reason Auntie B. has been calling me BUSTER today, I don't know why she forgot my name. Of course, she's been spitting nails all day because some car insurance bill came in and "it's over 300 percent more than it was in Virginia" and she's tired of talking to some third world indian...whatever any of that is. All I know is she likes me better than insurance companies...thank God.
Auntie B. said you'll be home in less than five whole days...I'm resting up lots for you! I still know all my tricks and sometimes I do them.
Woof, woof!
Magnus
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I've been such a good boy today I'm writing this early before the tide turns this evening. I slept until 6 am this morning and then I went back in my crate at 7:30 so Auntie Biscuit could work. At 10 am I really, really needed to get out so Auntie B folded and let me out. She took me for a walk and gave me a snack. Then she said I could come downstairs while she worked because she was busy.
I spent an hour and a half downstairs!!! And I was really good, I was polite to the hissy critters and didn't surprise them. I took a long nap in front of the fridge. Sanborn slept on the floor in his sunbeam and Chase slept on the ottoman. They let me stay in the same room as long as I didn't bother them and followed the rules. Auntie Biscuit was soooo proud of all of us. I asked Sanborn's permission before I walked pass him when it was time to leave. He hissed at me but he didn't mean it...he was just reminding me how to behave. Then Auntie B took me for another long walk and gave me a chicken strip...YAY!!! Auntie Biscuit brought some on my toys downstairs and is going to find something to put them in so I'll have something to chew on besides her.
Now, at 1 pm, I am up in my crate WITH THE DOOR OPEN and taking a nap while Auntie Biscuit finishes up her work.
Today is Perfect Dog Day. Today Aunt Biscuit is calling me GOODBOY. She promised you are coming home soon Daddy and bringing Food Lady with you...I'll be waiting at the door.
Woof, woof!
Magnus
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Another 6 am Wake up...Auntie b was so proud of me. We practiced the three Ps for awhile, she took me for a walk and I meet three kids waiting for the school bus. They really liked me but I have to learn manners cause Auntie B won't let me play with them unless I'm quiet. Can't do it. They were nice though, one of the females has four dogs: a cocker spanial and three Mastifs...she said they were really big. Then I went in my crate while Auntie B worked. SHe let me out at 11 and let me go lay in my backyard pen because it was such a pretty day. I carried leaves up on the deck for her and tried to walk through the screen door. She took me for another long walk and gave me a chicken strip YAY, I should have known something was up. SHe put me back in the crate and LEFT me.
SHe came back hours later and let me play in the pen and on the deck for a long, long time. Then Meg came and took me for another long walk...three in one day...boy am I tired. Auntie Biscuit keeps waking me up saying it's too soon to go to sleep. I'm nagged all the time!
Auntie Biscuit also said when I get a little bigger we won't be able to use the poop bags we have, we're going to have to use kitchen garbage bags. A boy's gotta do what a boy's gotta do.
Miss you, hurry home.
Woof, woof,
Magnus
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Auntie Biscuit said this is my next to last chance to write to you and that I better send tomorrow's tonight too because you'll be getting ready to come home to me!! Yippee!
I didn't hear GoodDog much today. I went downstairs early with Aunti B. while she signed on the computer. She caught on pretty quick that it was too quiet and came looking for me. Turns out I can't eat cat food either.
I played with the hissy critter toys for awhile and then I got too quiet again. Auntie B. was testy about me pooping in the hissy critters house. I don't understand, they can.
I had to go back in my crate in the afternoon while Aunite Biscuit went to grandma's and picked up her shopping list for the store tomorrow and stopped for a drink. I have lots of energy tonight...Auntie B. keeps throwing me out on the deck when I bark at her and chew on her. Guess I'm not suppose to do that so much. Wait until you see how good I chew on my harnesses.
Hurry home, I really,really miss you. This woman won't let me do anything.
Woof, woof!
Magnus
p.s. I just sneaked downstairs ALL BY MYSELF...but the darn quiet keeps giving me a way and Auntie Biscuit found me just where she thought she would...trying out the hissy critters dinner. I'm a BadDog again...but I don't care 'cause you're coming home! Nyah, Nyah, Nyah Auntie Biscuit.
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WoofHurrywoofwoofhomewoofWoofwakeWOOFmeWOOFupwoofwoofWOOFwoofwoof. I'm the big Dog.
Woof, woof
Magnus
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